The Writing Mafia

We studied Romeo and Juliet in English, discovering the foolish protagonists and their sappy sonnets. An activity in class was to write our own, so we picked strange themes and twisted the idea of a sonnet. What we produced is as follows: Oh, My Fair Sonnet Oh, my fair Sonnet, how lovely art thou, Thou tellest most flattering descriptions, Thou entrancest me with stunning words now, If told by others, I’d think were fiction. Thou enchant me with thy pretty quatrains, In which there are many wonderful rhymes. I’d  listen always without any pains, For leaving would be committing bad crimes. Alas, my fairest love must leave me, My misfortunate heart must wave goodbye. My fair love won’t listen to any plea, Even though this leaving makes my heart die. Goodbye, goodbye, with a couplet you leave, I wish for you to know how much I grieve. By Grace Death to Romeo Oh Romeo, thou art Darth Sidious We love uncovering your many faults Delight in fi...

If you're like most people, you probably don't hate that phrase as much as I do. This is mainly because I overthink things. It's something I do a lot and you will therefore be seeing a lot of it in my contributions to this blog. Actually, come to think of it, overthinking is something pretty much all of us have in common in the Writing Mafia, so you can just expect it all the time from all of us. You're welcome.  Anyway, back to 'If you're like most people...'. This phrase wouldn't bother me if people actually meant it. But they don't. They don't mean 'If you're like most people...', they mean, 'If you're like most people who are like me... ' Because let me tell you something, most people - as in, the majority of the human population of the planet - are living either under the poverty line or hovering dangerously close to it, have minimal education and don't understand this rant or anyone who says that most hate...

A first draft of a novel is never perfect. A first draft of  anything you've written is never perfect. We all know that. If you're a serious writer who's been looking through writing websites and generally spending your time reading about writing, well, you're like the rest of us. Someday, you are going to look back at what you have written, may it be to edit, to remind yourself of how much you've improved, or just to laugh at your writing. So here's my advice. If it makes you cringe, do something about it.  I'm writing a fantasy novel about seven dragons with elemental powers who are trying to bring back flight to a world where dragons cannot fly. As my fingers flew across the keyboard, typing out the words, I came to a scene where one of my main characters has to ask a friend for help. In reply, the friend begins rambling on and on about why she can't help him, but at the end of the chapter, she agrees to help. When I looked back...

I have been slightly obsessed with dragons for a while. Here's the result. Characteristics Flight The first thing we need to figure out is the size of our prototype dragon. If a full-sized dragon like Smaug existed, it wouldn't fly (due to the fact that it would weigh about 18 tonnes). The weight to wing ratio basically means the dragon would have to be hollow to fly, or else the gravitational pull on it would be too great for even the most massive wings. Instead of having a hollow dragon, let's shrink it down. Say around the size of a falcon. Large birds like vultures have large surfaces for their wings and can therefore soar. Assuming we want our dragon to soar like an eagle, we could make it larger, but big birds need massive areas to land and take off, which is completely impractical if we are sticking to the stereotype of dragons living in caves. (More on habitat later). However we can't have the dragon flapping around like a little finch, so we might ...

A pinboard is like a loving thing, so treat it with care. Find it a good place, not too dark but not in direct sunlight, as its foliage may fade. Make sure you keep a good store of pins nearby in case you need to feed it quickly. With the pins, keep scraps of paper, sticky notes or blank notecards. Feed it regularly, so it doesn't get a tatty coat. Regularly prune as well, since old pieces of paper no longer serving any purpose can get in the way and make it look shabby. Ensure you are feeding it a well balanced diet of different colors, sizes and shapes of paper, and occasionally add supplements such as leaves, postcards and bits of string. This way you will see your pinboard bloom all seasons. A pinboard can become a lifelong friend if treated correctly. Make sure you feed it enough, but not too much. An important point to note is the content of the notes you are giving it. Single words are acceptable as long as they are clear, so you know exactly what you were thinking whe...

  Instrumental By Germaine As quiet music filled the house, a cat black as night crept out of her basket. Pausing to stare at the nearest window, she watched the sun slowly burst out of the horizon. Warm light filled the room. Purring, she turned and padded downstairs to greet the pianist, who stopped playing only to stroke her. The cat nudged back his hand. In return, he smiled and continued to play. The cat rolled her eyes. Upstairs waited for her. When she reached the top, a white cat with bright green eyes met her. The black cat’s striking blue eyes flashed with recognition as she mewed a greeting. “Harpsichord! Finally, you’re awake.” “Woodwind, you were always an early riser. It’s no wonder that you’re already up.” Harpsichord answered. Woodwind purred at the compliment. “Come on, let’s see if Oboe and Bass are awake yet.” Oboe, a raven, was sleeping on her perch. Flashing Woodwind a mischievous grin, Harpsichord let out an ear-piercing screech. Oboe...

DO NOT KILL FLIES. You may have read that in the ‘about us’ section under my name and been confused. I am going to explain myself and my reasoning. I have a strong belief that flies should not be harmed or killed, they are cute and friendly. Yes I did keep a pet fly. Why should you not kill flies?     Firstly, they are cute. Have you looked at one closely and observed? They are tiny and delicate. Things people think are cute often include big eyes, and have you seen the size of fly eyes?!? The eye-to-head ratio is more than Baby Dory!!!      For my next reason, I'm going to look at the opposing side: why should one kill flies? People usually answer one of three ways, 1) they spread disease 2) they contaminate food 3) there's like a million of them.      Well, guess what? Humans spread disease too! And lots of other animals. Just look at all the sicknesses that came from Europe, brought by people, and affected the persons who lived in the Am...